They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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