okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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