If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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