I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
