the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
