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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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