I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize