just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
