Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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