I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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