I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
