when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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