evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
