It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what day is it and did you see me today?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
