Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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