My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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