I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
