I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize