If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
