He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
