Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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