The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
