I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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