True but thats because hes a fetus.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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