I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
