Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
