member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
