I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
