The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm like, not good at living.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
