she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
