I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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