I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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