He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
