how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
