i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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