I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
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On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
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i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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