That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
