yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
