They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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