and you said cock pushups were impossible
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
