how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
