Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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