We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
