Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
