my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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