i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
