i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
