I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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