I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
