Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
