So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i dont even know how to be here
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
