Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
