his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
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just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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