no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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