i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
