Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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