I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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