Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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