i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
