o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
