Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
