I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
