Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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