bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
