Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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