The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I intend to get homeless drunk
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
