uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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